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Black Women & White Men
Community for BW & WM to chat & meet.
Transnational Interracial Marriages 
29th-Nov-2006 09:33 pm
I was very happy to find this community for many reasons. I'm just here to introduce myself, and hopefully meet some people who I can chat with from time to time. I think you might find my story a tad bit interesting. Let me give you a bit of my background:

I'm a 25 year old male who is currently a Peace Corps volunteer in Ghana, West Africa. I have been here for about 15 months and have fallen helplessly in love with a Ghanaian girl. She is almost 20 and, because of her economic and social background, is illiterate and uneducated. This makes our relationship superficially unbalanced and unegalitarian. But we are totally, deeply in love. We never run out of things to talk about, laugh like children, and are deeply and swooningly attracted to each other. In fact, we are going to get married within the next year and begin the process of getting her residency in the United States. This isn't something that is too uncommon among Peace Corps Volunteers, but it also isn't run-of-the-mill.

My question for you folks is: how do you think a rural African girl (with a deep black complexion) will be received in the U.S who is married to a white man? She is learning to read and is going back to school (I am sending her to an intensive private school), so hopefully she'll be almost totally literate by the time she gets there. As someone who was mostly sheltered from racial issues during my upbringing (in San Diego) I don't know what to expect from my fellow Americans. Is this going to be accepted or is it going to be challenged? In the end, our love will pull us through and I know we will overcome our obstacles, but do you have any advice that may potentially help us discuss our relationship in this trans-national interracial context?

Jeeze, it sounds so complicated now that I've written it down.
30th-Nov-2006 12:30 am (UTC)
I think her bigger obstacles will just be the culture shock, regardless of the racial issues. There are thousands of little things that we do differently here that you might not even think of until you have to see them through her eyes and help her understand.

If you're going back to San Diego, I think the racial thing will only be a small part of the issues you will face. She's going to depend on you a lot to get acclimated. But as long as you're there for her, she should be able to make it.ˇ
30th-Nov-2006 01:39 am (UTC)
I agree for the most part. I did laugh when I read San Diego. I live in San Diego cause I live in El Cajon. I was in a relationship with a african american woman (with a dark complexion) And never got even a second glance. The culture shock will be a challange. But with love you can deal.
30th-Nov-2006 01:51 pm (UTC)
I was going to ask what part of the country you would be living in. I'm in Georgia and I can tell you that unless you live in the Metro Atlanta area, it would probably be kinda difficult. But since you're in Cali it seems to not be a big deal over there.

I definitely agree with the others for thinking it's going to be a big culture shock to her and take her some time to adjust. It might even be helpful to connect her with other women of her culture or from her country when she is in the USA because they will understand even more what she is going through. They can be a good support system for her even if it is just as pen pals.
30th-Nov-2006 04:41 pm (UTC)
April is right on point by allowing her to preserve her culture here as well. One of the things to remember is that it will be hard for her to adjust. I had a hard time joining my fiancee' in Jamaica for 2 weeks.

California is farm more accepting than many southern states (texas here). For you, i would say help explore her culture in America. If you have any questions about the immigration process I will have -IG- (my better half) log in and talk about it. She is currently finishing her process.
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